Here I am: depressed again after a new failed experience, a new rejection.
I’m thinking I’m exactly in the same place I was 4 months ago. For a long time I had given up and stopped looking, but that never made me happier I guess. I thought time is the key for healing, but the pain went nowhere. I tried getting distracted by work; I worked for hours to the extent of being sleep deprived, but if anything, the void only grew bigger, and I only became colder. A few days ago I decided: probably the best way to make the pain less intense is to go out and get hurt again; to get a new pain essentially. And here I am, got exactly what I asked for.