Once upon a time, a couple of ducks were waiting patiently for their new baby ducks (ducklings) to hatch out of their eggs. Although all of the eggs looked the same, when they hatched, one specific duckling looked very different than all of the others. Yes, the other ducklings weren’t identical, but this duckling was very different. His neck was weirdly longer, his legs were weirdly darker, and even the color of his feathers was weirdly unusual. The mother and father ducks were so surprised, but they did their best to love him just like any other of their ducklings. The other ducklings, however, weren’t so nice to him. They never stopped making fun of him and avoiding him, and they called him “the ugly duckling”. As they grew up, our duckling tried his best to fit in by trying to act and look like like all of the normal ducklings. But despite all of his efforts, he never succeeded. The more he grew up the more obvious the differences became. He didn’t look like the others, didn’t walk or swim like them, and he didn’t sound like them. He always hated himself for being an outcast. Continue reading →
When Oppenheimer witnessed an experimental atomic explosion, he reportedly remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita, “Now I [have] become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
This, to me, is a very strong line. It often makes me think about how it didn’t say “I bring death” or “I have become the source of death”, and instead describes a state of “becoming death” itself. It’s so much power that it’s not only a “destroyer of lives”, rather a destroyer of entire worlds. Continue reading →
He’s the only one who has been there since the beginning. He never lets go. He’s so fucking stubborn. The more I tell him I don’t want him, the tighter he holds on to me. Lots of people come and go, but he’s the only one who seems to remain. To be honest, I sometimes feel I miss him, but it’s not because of him, rather because he’s frankly better than bad company. Continue reading →
(I wrote this about my friend SR, and have been struggling for a while to complete it. I guess that means it is complete, so I decided it to post it as is.)
When you step out of a warm shower on a cold night, the world seems colder.
But it’s somehow warmer, when you step out of a warm hug that you’ve awaited forever.
“But forever could just be around the corner”, she said without a second thought.
A thought that lingered in my mind. Continue reading →
(I wrote this letter over the course of a few days to my friend whom I’ll refer to as S. -for privacy reasons- and delivered it to her on Wed, the 16th of March 2017)
Dear Beloved S.,
I’m writing this to you after almost 2 days of trying to respect your desire for me to leave you alone as much as possible. It has been very difficult for me, but if you are really happy, I’ll use all my power to bare the loneliness and the pain of being away from you when I want to be close, just for your sake and your happiness.
They say Einstein once said: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we faced them.” I think there is a recurring problem in our friendship and I’m writing this to try and explain, in some detail, why I think there are better ways of dealing with bad times other than the way we’re currently choosing. I hope you read this carefully, put yourself in my place, and, at least, reconsider, for my sake, please.
Sometimes I wish I was a ghost.
Which is actually different than wishing death.
Because the ghost I’d be would be very alive.
More alive than I’ve ever been.
Than anyone has you’ve ever seen. Continue reading →