There’s no one there

When you need someone, there’ll be no one there
When you need to talk, there’ll be no one there
When you need support, there’ll be no one there
When you need a hug, there’ll be no one there
When you need to cry, there’ll be no one there
When you need kindness, there’ll be no one there
When you need mercy, there’ll be no one there
When you need shelter, there’ll be no one there
When you need acceptance, there’ll be no one there
When you need understanding, there’ll be no one there
When you need healing, there’ll be no one there
When you need warmth, there’ll be no one there
When you need family, there’ll be no one there
When you need friendship, there’ll be no one there
When you need some light, there’ll be no one there
When you need some hope, there’ll be no one there
When you need some meaning, there’ll be no one there
When you need love, there’ll be no one there
When you need anything, there’ll be no one there

You were born alone, you’ve lived alone, and you’ll die alone.

No one is there, no one was ever there, and no one will ever be there for you.

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Sleep deprivation

We are told that if you get a sufficient amount of sleep, you won’t feel sleep-deprived. They tend to focus on the quantity of sleep and seem to overlook the quality.

There have been days in which I got very little sleep, yet felt so energized and refreshed. And others, where I had much more sleep than needed, yet was too tired to complete the simplest of tasks.

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All I want now is for the pain to stop.

It’s true that we seem to be living our lives in an endless journey of quenching our desires, but I think the nature of your desires can tell a great deal about who we are and how we lived our lives.

I remember I used to want one thing: feel loved and accepted.

Then I used to want to be safe.

Then I wanted not to feel lonely, and wanted to be loved.

Now all I want is for my heartache to stop.

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My cold and dark universe (Part 2: A transition that broke me into a million pieces)

 A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.

I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!

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Insodus: Returning back to the jungle (nightmares)

Insodus is a word I made up as an antonym of Exodus.

Next week this time I’ll be back in the country that hurt me so much that the mere thought of returning to it hurts. My land of slavery and bondage. Continue reading

A sting to remember

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
~ Bob Marley

Even if this place was the richest part of the world or the most modern nation on Earth, it would still be a living hell for people like myself. You see, this place’s ugliness lies deep inside the very disgusting nature of the people inhabiting it themselves.

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Day #XYZ in a 3rd world country

I found this on my smartphone, which I apparently wrote on the 3rd of June 2014:

Its not hard to calculate the exact day but it’s of little value because life itself is of little value here.

Today I heard a news anchor on a TV station saying,”We now know it wasn’t an Arab spring, rather a Hebrew spring, as it was designed to divide the Arab word and it gave rise to terroristic groups …” This caused me some disappointment at first; while I remembered how the same people celebrated the overthrowing of their oppressors a few years ago.

It might be mind boggling for a lot of people following our situation how the masses came to let go of the values of liberty, equality, and human dignity in very short a time, but it comes as no surprise to a person who’s inside the scene.

If there’s anybody to blame for this moral and cultural decline it’s us -those who so sincerely believe in human values- for we are the ones who failed to show people how dramatically their lives, and the lives of their children, would have changed if they had embraced these values. We failed because of our ignorance, which is the result of our cowardice, which is the result of our stupidity, which is a result of our conceit, which is a result of our ignorance – at least this is my speculation.

Our lack of ingenuity was clear but we refused to accept it because our opponents succeeded in dragging us down into trivial battles. And we successfully fell into the trap because our minds were almost equally trivial.