My first letter to a friend

(I wrote this letter over the course of a few days to my friend whom I’ll refer to as S. -for privacy reasons- and delivered it to her on Wed, the 16th of March 2017)

Dear Beloved S.,

I’m writing this to you after almost 2 days of trying to respect your desire for me to leave you alone as much as possible. It has been very difficult for me, but if you are really happy, I’ll use all my power to bare the loneliness and the pain of being away from you when I want to be close, just for your sake and your happiness.

They say Einstein once said: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we faced them.” I think there is a recurring problem in our friendship and I’m writing this to try and explain, in some detail, why I think there are better ways of dealing with bad times other than the way we’re currently choosing. I hope you read this carefully, put yourself in my place, and, at least, reconsider, for my sake, please.

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My cold and dark universe (Part 3: A universe from bitterness)

We usually forget months and even entire years of our lives, but there are some moments, some nights, that can never fade away from our memories.

I always say I have a very bad memory. Could it be my brain’s way of defending itself against grief?

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My cold and dark universe (Part 2: A transition that broke me into a million pieces)

 A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.

I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!

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My cold and dark universe (Part 1: The dark chambers of my heart)

“Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide”

~Demons, Imagine Dragons

Warning: I decided it was time to write a short summary of my sad life and suffering in a single series of entries, the only expected result is a very dark collection of painful stories. You’re strongly discouraged from reading this.

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A sting to remember

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
~ Bob Marley

Even if this place was the richest part of the world or the most modern nation on Earth, it would still be a living hell for people like myself. You see, this place’s ugliness lies deep inside the very disgusting nature of the people inhabiting it themselves.

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The personality factory (part 2)

“Don’t you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?”
― Sarah Addison Allen, Lost Lake

Hell yeah!

After reaching a certain age (probably 5 or 6) I stopped going to the daycare and I started going to school instead. Another place I’d do ANYTHING just to get to visit for one last time …

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How I met “reading” (part2)

May 2012

Reading is a necessity even for the normal person for several reasons … First, we don’t live in a world that consists only of our surroundings … The world is ruled by laws and moving ideas … Reading is like learning a language; a base for any conversation and for understanding people and yourself too … That’s why it’s funny, and probably hilarious, to repeat the phrase “reading is a hobby.” No, it’s a human duty like learning to speak.

Reading is an extra eye, hand, and leg which makes you outreach beyond your narrow limits and makes you understand your position in this life and what made you the way you are.

~Mr M, from our conversations [1]

This was probably the part when it had me; reading. So I decided to continue reading his book and his articles. And the more I read the more I understood and, in the same time, the more I found things that I couldn’t understand. I kept asking him about them, but his time was limited and some of the answers were more or less sufficient. I needed to know much more. I needed to learn more and more, and there was one topic that was more pressing than anything else: morality.

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