Maybe what’s worse than the pain is feeling that there’s no one there for you. That all doors are closed … all eyes are void of care … all ears aren’t listening … all hands are unavailable … all kindness consumed … all hearts closed. I hate this feeling more than I have hated anything in my life. I wish I could know why it seems to follow me everywhere; no matter where I go … no matter what I do. I wish it’s just something in my head. I wish I’m delusional. I wish that somehow the doors are imaginary, the eyes are pretending, the ears are hidden, the hands are invisible, the kindness can be found, and the hearts just misunderstood.
Sometimes I wish I was a ghost.
Which is actually different than wishing death.
Because the ghost I’d be would be very alive.
More alive than I’ve ever been.
Than anyone has you’ve ever seen. Continue reading →