My cold and dark universe (Part 3: A universe from bitterness)

We usually forget months and even entire years of our lives, but there are some moments, some nights, that can never fade away from our memories.

I always say I have a very bad memory. Could it be my brain’s way of defending itself against grief?

My cold and dark universe (Part 2: A transition that broke me into a million pieces)

 A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.

I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!

Insodus: Returning back to the jungle (nightmares)

Insodus is a word I made up as an antonym of Exodus.

Next week this time I’ll be back in the country that hurt me so much that the mere thought of returning to it hurts. My land of slavery and bondage.

Day #XYZ in a 3rd world country

I found this on my smartphone, which I apparently wrote on the 3rd of June 2014:

Its not hard to calculate the exact day but it’s of little value because life itself is of little value here.

Today I heard a news anchor on a TV station saying,”We now know it wasn’t an Arab spring, rather a Hebrew spring, as it was designed to divide the Arab word and it gave rise to terroristic groups …” This caused me some disappointment at first; while I remembered how the same people celebrated the overthrowing of their oppressors a few years ago.

It might be mind boggling for a lot of people following our situation how the masses came to let go of the values of liberty, equality, and human dignity in very short a time, but it comes as no surprise to a person who’s inside the scene.

If there’s anybody to blame for this moral and cultural decline it’s us -those who so sincerely believe in human values- for we are the ones who failed to show people how dramatically their lives, and the lives of their children, would have changed if they had embraced these values. We failed because of our ignorance, which is the result of our cowardice, which is the result of our stupidity, which is a result of our conceit, which is a result of our ignorance – at least this is my speculation.

Our lack of ingenuity was clear but we refused to accept it because our opponents succeeded in dragging us down into trivial battles. And we successfully fell into the trap because our minds were almost equally trivial.

I think my keyboard is trying to kill me

In the virtual world, thinking before pressing the “enter” key is the equivalent of thinking before speaking. It’s the milliseconds before using it in an IM chat, the seconds before clicking it for a comment on a social network, or the minutes you have to think before pressing it to post something, that determine your fate and the features of your virtual “you”.