There’s no one there

When you need someone, there’ll be no one there
When you need to talk, there’ll be no one there
When you need support, there’ll be no one there
When you need a hug, there’ll be no one there
When you need to cry, there’ll be no one there
When you need kindness, there’ll be no one there
When you need mercy, there’ll be no one there
When you need shelter, there’ll be no one there
When you need acceptance, there’ll be no one there
When you need understanding, there’ll be no one there
When you need healing, there’ll be no one there
When you need warmth, there’ll be no one there
When you need family, there’ll be no one there
When you need friendship, there’ll be no one there
When you need some light, there’ll be no one there
When you need some hope, there’ll be no one there
When you need some meaning, there’ll be no one there
When you need love, there’ll be no one there
When you need anything, there’ll be no one there

You were born alone, you’ve lived alone, and you’ll die alone.

No one is there, no one was ever there, and no one will ever be there for you.

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I wish I’m delusional

Maybe what’s worse than the pain is feeling that there’s no one there for you. That all doors are closed … all eyes are void of care … all ears aren’t listening … all hands are unavailable … all kindness consumed … all hearts closed. I hate this feeling more than I have hated anything in my life. I wish I could know why it seems to follow me everywhere; no matter where I go … no matter what I do. I wish it’s just something in my head. I wish I’m delusional. I wish that somehow the doors are imaginary, the eyes are pretending, the ears are hidden, the hands are invisible, the kindness can be found, and the hearts just misunderstood.

A quick warm forever

(I wrote this about my friend SR, and have been struggling for a while to complete it. I guess that means it is complete, so I decided it to post it as is.)

When you step out of a warm shower on a cold night, the world seems colder.
But it’s somehow warmer, when you step out of a warm hug that you’ve awaited forever.
“But forever could just be around the corner”, she said without a second thought.
A thought that lingered in my mind.
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