Present Paradoxes

(I wrote this on Jan the 24th 2017)

If life is just a blink of an eye, a sudden moment of celebrating existence, then we must be grossly wasting it; if we’re spending all of our time captive to our thoughts. Whether it’s our memories or expectations about the future, they’re all just thoughts. They’re not real. It seems like we are born, get lost in thought, and then, before we know it, die. What a waste!

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All I want now is for the pain to stop.

It’s true that we seem to be living our lives in an endless journey of quenching our desires, but I think the nature of your desires can tell a great deal about who we are and how we lived our lives.

I remember I used to want one thing: feel loved and accepted.

Then I used to want to be safe.

Then I wanted not to feel lonely, and wanted to be loved.

Now all I want is for my heartache to stop.

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My cold and dark universe (Part 3: A universe from bitterness)

We usually forget months and even entire years of our lives, but there are some moments, some nights, that can never fade away from our memories.

I always say I have a very bad memory. Could it be my brain’s way of defending itself against grief?

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My cold and dark universe (Part 2: A transition that broke me into a million pieces)

 A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.

I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!

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My cold and dark universe (Part 1: The dark chambers of my heart)

“Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide”

~Demons, Imagine Dragons

Warning: I decided it was time to write a short summary of my sad life and suffering in a single series of entries, the only expected result is a very dark collection of painful stories. You’re strongly discouraged from reading this.

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The personality factory (part 2)

“Don’t you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?”
― Sarah Addison Allen, Lost Lake

Hell yeah!

After reaching a certain age (probably 5 or 6) I stopped going to the daycare and I started going to school instead. Another place I’d do ANYTHING just to get to visit for one last time …

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