(I wrote this on Jan the 24th 2017)
It’s true that we seem to be living our lives in an endless journey of quenching our desires, but I think the nature of your desires can tell a great deal about who we are and how we lived our lives.
I remember I used to want one thing: feel loved and accepted.
Then I used to want to be safe.
Then I wanted not to feel lonely, and wanted to be loved.
Now all I want is for my heartache to stop.
We usually forget months and even entire years of our lives, but there are some moments, some nights, that can never fade away from our memories.
I always say I have a very bad memory. Could it be my brain’s way of defending itself against grief?
A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.
I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!
“Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide”
~Demons, Imagine Dragons
Warning: I decided it was time to write a short summary of my sad life and suffering in a single series of entries, the only expected result is a very dark collection of painful stories. You’re strongly discouraged from reading this.
“Don’t you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?”
― Sarah Addison Allen, Lost Lake