A death stronger than love

Why is death so strong?
“Love is as strong as death”?!
But no matter how hard I try to find love
Death finds me!

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I wish I’m delusional

Maybe what’s worse than the pain is feeling that there’s no one there for you. That all doors are closed … all eyes are void of care … all ears aren’t listening … all hands are unavailable … all kindness consumed … all hearts closed. I hate this feeling more than I have hated anything in my life. I wish I could know why it seems to follow me everywhere; no matter where I go … no matter what I do. I wish it’s just something in my head. I wish I’m delusional. I wish that somehow the doors are imaginary, the eyes are pretending, the ears are hidden, the hands are invisible, the kindness can be found, and the hearts just misunderstood.

All I want now is for the pain to stop.

It’s true that we seem to be living our lives in an endless journey of quenching our desires, but I think the nature of your desires can tell a great deal about who we are and how we lived our lives.

I remember I used to want one thing: feel loved and accepted.

Then I used to want to be safe.

Then I wanted not to feel lonely, and wanted to be loved.

Now all I want is for my heartache to stop.

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My cold and dark universe (Part 3: A universe from bitterness)

We usually forget months and even entire years of our lives, but there are some moments, some nights, that can never fade away from our memories.

I always say I have a very bad memory. Could it be my brain’s way of defending itself against grief?

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My cold and dark universe (Part 2: A transition that broke me into a million pieces)

 A universe is vast, spontaneous, and unique. So is my mind.

I also now realize that: a universe is mostly empty, dark and cold. So is my heart!

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